08 November 2008

Stinky Goat

Almost thirty years ago, in 1978, I was at the Billy Goat Bar and Grill (made famous by SNL a few years later) with my girlfriend when who should show up, but Dick the Bruiser and wrasling promoter Bob Luce with a camera crew. It seems they were going to film a promo for their upcoming card at the Coliseum where Dick was going to fight that rascal, Nick Botwinkle! For good luck, the Bruiser was going to kiss Sam Sianis’ goat! So the cameras started rolling. To the left was the Bruiser, to the right was Sam holding the stinky goat, and in the middle was Bob Luce waxing hysterical about the upcoming grudge matches at the coliseum. Not only was Billy Robinson dying to get back at Mad Dog Vachon (who had bit him last time out), but the Bruiser finally had a chance to pay back that dastardly Nick Botwinkle after he had been knocked out by Beautiful Buddy Wolf with a folding chair during their last match. So, without further a due, the Bruiser will now kiss the goat ... BUT WAIT! The door burst open and in rushed Nick Botwinkle! He wasn’t going to let the Bruiser kiss the goat. So there they were, struggling, the Bruiser trying to kiss the goat while Nick Botwinkle tried to keep them separate, Bob Luce’s voice hitting the very peak level of hysteria possible before cardiac arrest became inevitable, and poor Sam Sianis trying to keep the goat from being hurt. CUT! The cameras stopped rolling, the blood enemies stopped dead in their tracks, everybody had a beer, and then they decided to try it again. Hey lined up the Bruiser, Luce, and the goat, Botwinkle went back out to the alley.

Just then my girlfriend insisted that we go before they started in again because “I can’t stand the smell!”

“Of the Goat?”

“No — of the Bruiser!”

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