According to a recent issue of the New York Times, the average American has sex 58 times per year. Several factors, however, have been found to reliably predict deviations from this mean. So take the Dutchman’s NYT Sex Frequency Test and see if it has predictive value for you!
Jazz Bonus:
+30% for Jazz Fans
Left Wing Bonus:
+10% for being a self described “liberal”
+33% for “Extreme Liberal”
+55% for “Radical”
Education Penalty:
-10% for each year of College education
Gun Owner Bonus:
+10% for male gun owners
+15% for female gun owners
Vice Bonus
+20% for smoking
+20% for “excessive” drinking
Television Bonus
+10% for watching Television
Working Class Bonus
+15% for earning less than $30,000 per annum
+30% for living in a trailer
Take your total percentage (100% plus or minus any bonuses or penalties) and multiply this by the normal mean of 58.
Does this match your actual frequency of coition? If not, what can you do about it? When my total was off I had to start listening to Jazz, buy a gun, and, since I couldn’t un-do those years of college education, move into a trailer. What radical changes will this test bring to you?
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UPDATE: According to Mother Jones magazine, men who do NOT organize their sock drawers have sex an average of three times more per month than those who do.
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