My Curiosity Punished

So I’m sitting on the El train this morning when this girl gets on. She’s short, kind of plump, short haired, dressed in jeans and T-shirt. She passes right by me and she has this button on her shirt. It’s yellow on top and white on the bottom. The top says: “I want a President who …” and I can’t make out the bottom. So the girl sits down right opposite me and I’m staring hard at her trying to make out what the bottom of the button says and, evidently, this is a do-it-yourself button where you fill in whatever it is you want the president to do and this girl’s handwriting isn’t the best so I’m really staring hard at this, when she gives me a NASTY DROP-DEAD LOOK and I realize two things:

1] The button is pinned right on top of a really big hooter that I’m staring straight at …

2] The full text reads:“I want a President who SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE!”

So — I had to sit across from the bull dyke who thought I was staring at her tits from Belmont up to Howard. If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man …